I'm feeling tired... And anoyed for the greatest part. I can't place the reason why I'm feeling this way, it's been frustrating me that I don't know my own emotions. I've been trying to ignore it, but I'm so on edge the past few days that my selfcontrol is starting to slip. I try very hard not to let my friends or family suffer from my mood, and I'm not succeding. I truly hate myself for that. I don't want to lose my friends over some stuped moodswing of mine, but if this keeps on going on like this, I eventually will lose them. It bothers me a lot. The tiniest thing is to much all the sudden. I don't like physical contact anymore, if someone tries to hug me, I usually shake them off. While I was so desperately in a need of somebody to hold me not even such a long time ago. I can't place it, but I do my best to ignore it. I mean, this will pass in time, it's probably to do with the time of year, right? And if it doesn't pass, I'll look for help. Tomorrow is a new day, and maybe I'll wake up with a smile tomorrow. Maybe I'll just be content with my life, like before. At least tomorrow I'll have to explain to my friends that it's not their fault that I'm being so moody, and that they should ignore me. That ought not to be too difficult .

A strange thing is that even music is too much. I've been searching through almost every cd in my computer but it was all making me anoyed to the extreem, so I just quit listening. That's also bothering me, I usually control much of my emotion by listening to music.

I did, however, discover some part of my emotional inbalance. I miss a male model in my life. It's frustrating to hang around girls all the time without even one boy. But I can easely live through that part, I've already done that for years. I've technically been raised by female, so yeah... I'm used to it . It's a very big difference though, whether you're socializing with a boy or a girl. Boys are so much more reassuring, protective, and steady than girls... I miss that, but I've never been lucky on that part of my life, so I'm not expecting I will be in the future, lol !

November is cold... I wish I had a radiator in my room... My toes are starting to freeze of, seriously . The only thing close to warmth is my hairdryer, lol ! I've been letting it blow for over five minutes when I entered my room. It didn't help much though, just a little

I guess I'm going to bed now, I've been going to sleep at eight for over a week now, and I must say it keeps the exhaustion away till at least after school time. I'd expected it to be a little more effective, but my headaches remain and I'm still feeling tired when I get home. I'm convinced it's just autumn messing with my system, but I will visit a docter if the complains remain. I don't think it's serious though, just anoying